A Curiouser and Curiouser Obituary

On October 9th, at the age of 87, Shayla Eaton finally stopped correcting people’s grammar. Known primarily as an eccentric recluse who refused to leave her two-story private library, she was a collector of rare books, rich coffee, and stray animals.

Shayla gained international fame when she pulled a Willy Wonka and opened her library doors for the first time to five lucky winners. Hidden within the pages of her popular grammar book, Snuck Is Not a Word, were five library cards—the entrance tickets to a one-and-only tour of the mysterious library.

According to legend, housed in the library is the map to the Library of Alexandria, a personal obsession of Shayla’s—an obsession that might have driven her to her eternal rest. No map or destroyed library has been uncovered.

Shayla is survived by her two nephews, Joshua and Justin, and niece, Jessalyn, who will inherit the coveted library.

Funeral services will be held in her church, with a celebration of her life taking place in her private library in the Edgar Allan Poe section.


The family asks that you send books and cake in lieu of flowers, as Shayla was deathly allergic and would have been super annoyed to see flowers there.